On the mend...

Well last Friday I managed to knacker my ankle on a 3 mile run.  Rested up on Saturday, put on some very sensible walking shoes on Sunday and went for a short walk (3 miles is a short walk for me these days).  Limped home with my ankle protesting at every step, though the dog was happy.   So I've rested since then and the lack of walking/running is driving me bonkers.

My lovely wife bought me a new game (Destiny - pretty good) but I'm really missing that empty mind focus of just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

To top it off this last few days we've lost several more young children who have died from Batten's disease.   That brings the total from our small online community to around 40 children who have died so far this year.  

Forty kids...doesn't sound like a lot does it?  That's only the ones we know of and Batten's disease is only one of around 5000 rare diseases that are killing or children.  Do the math and suddenly you're looking at 20000 children; a very ballpark figure but when you consider that the WHO (World Health Organisation) is requesting a billion dollars to tackle the Ebola outbreak which has claimed approximately 2500 lives to date, then you have to wonder at our complacency in tackling this huge database of known rare diseases with the same vigour. 

It's why I do this, the blog, the running and anything else that goes along with trying to raise awareness of these diseases that take our children from us.

In lighter news Wednesday is weigh day!  I'm not dieting per se but I am trying to eat a little more sensibly than before but the lack of exercise since Friday had me quite nervous this morning so I was very pleasantly surprised to find...

Weight 210.8lb (I've lost exactly 7lb since starting)
Body fat 30.7 (a loss of 2.9%)

I know if the exercise had gone to plan I'd have been sub 15 stone for the first time in over a year but I know everything is going in the right direction.

I'm going to curb my impatience and try a walk on Friday...just a little one...

The Long Walk...

Of all the things I have done this past month, the jogging, the running, the jumping up and down like an idiot in front of the telly (and it's not even the Six Nations) the hardest thing of all has been the walking...

The running and exercise leave me sweaty and out of breath but the walks...the walks grab my heart with both hands and squeeze so hard I think it's going to burst.  The pain is almost unbearable and I'm looking forward to the rain coming as the tears don't show when you're soaking wet.  When I walk my hands are empty and there is a space on the pavement in front of me where Rhiannon used to be. I've even twigged to the fact that Charlie isn't trying to pull ahead of me, he's walking to heel where the front wheel of Rhiannon's chair should be, he misses her too.

Today she's been gone from our lives for 8 months and like, trying to fill a colander with water, no matter how much we try to fit into our life it drains away leaving an empty shell.  Family and friends plug the gap and give us moments of love, pride, even happiness but the inevitable return home to a new routine, a more casual pace reaffirms the hole that Rhiannon's absence leaves in our hearts.

Some days are worse than others and you lie in bed struggling to find a reason to wake up tomorrow, looking for that one crack of light that gives a reason to go on.

I won't give up, I made a promise but I miss her so much...